An apple never falls far from the tree! So does that mean that you can judge my faith by that of my family members? Not really, BUT… there is no doubt that the Bible makes a link between you and the way your family behaves, especially for those people who are considered for leadership in the church.
The Bible tells us some key dynamics for successful family life. First of all the family unit is the model that God gave to the world. We read in Ephesians 5 that husbands must love their wives, just like Jesus loved the church their wives. In addition there is the command to submit to one another in love. The command that we see for women is to submit to their husbands as head of the family just as Jesus is head of the church. Men need to feel respected and this is the command given to wives. If the husband loves his wife, and she respects her husband you will have the basis for a successful marriage. I believe that when a woman feels loved, she loves back in return. God does not need to remind the woman to love her husband. But woman can struggle with respecting their husbands and so they are told to submit. This does not mean the husband is boss of the wife. But just as Jesus is the chief shepherd, so the husband has that role in the family. The role of the shepherd is to ensure the sheep have food and a good place to stay and that the are protected. This is the role of the husband in marriage.
The modern world often has the woman working and many dads stay home to look after the children. While I would not condemn this, in my opinion it is not the way it was intended. If this is how it goes for a season, then so be it.
Then there is the command to the children to obey their parents. Obedience means ” do what they say, without rolling the eyes, and giving lip or attitude”. At the same time the balance is ” fathers do not provoke you children to anger”. Children who grow up with a loving dad, who spends time with them, will more likely be obedient, than those whose dad spends 10 minutes a day with them at best. If circumstances prevent you from being able to model your family on the above, then seek God and ask him to restore the balance to your home.
When people look at your family, they do no expect child robots who walk around praising God all day. But they do expect children who are respectful and well mannered. It is possible to achieve. Our families should be families that pray together and talk together and go through difficult times together. After all, we are Kings kids!